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What the hell am I doing here?

Why do I blog? I have spent a month thinking about this, and feel no closer to an answer. Some of the responses to the prompts my Bear has given me have more or less written themselves, and even on the ones I found a little more tricky have presented some sort of starting point. But this month, I’m stumped. This is all by way of an apology, as I’m sure what follows will be incoherent or dull, and possibly both. Sorry.

I suppose I get lost in my head sometimes. I have always had a tendency to internalise, and go over things repeatedly, usually until I get myself into a right state.  With such an emphasis on communication in our relationship, it is helpful sometimes to vomit my thoughts somewhere and then refine and distil it down what I actually want to say, in a vain attempt to stop myself from over-explaining. I hope that what I post here gives my Bear insights into the way my brain works, and explains some things better than I’m capable of doing in person.

I enjoy writing. I love words, especially the underused ones, and I pleasure in finding a flow of language. I find I sometimes write the way I wish I could speak, but can’t because people would look at me strangely. Well, more than they do already. I find it sad that so often people who take pleasure in words and in using anything more than the linguistic bare essentials are thought of as being strange and off and pretentious. After being ridiculed while at school for knowing ‘big words’ (although I noted they always came to me rather than picking up a thesaurus) it is a joy to be able to use whatever style of language one chooses.

Eventually, I hope to have enough confidence in my writing to attempt some fiction, maybe even erotica. It will take some time, and much more practice, but I’ll get there one day.

There we go. That’s my post for the month. Congratulations for making it all the way through. Hopefully next month I will be free of this bout of bloggers block.

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