I owe much of my current happiness to Twitter, and the BDSM Twitter community. More specifically to one person, and probably not the person you think. It is true that I met my Bear through Twitter, something which I always say I won’t tell people if they ask, but then I always do. But meeting him, and finding the rest of you lovely perverts, were both directly because of one person.
I first fell into Twitter as a newly single parent who really just wanted somebody to talk to of an evening. I hadn’t given no thought to joining a specific community. In fact, I didn’t really know Twitter communities existed at that point. But follow followed follow, and there I was; part of a network of people formed around a common interest.
Unfortunately, that common interest seemed to be arguing. The community I found myself in was full of factions and disputes. But there were some awesome people, one of whom in particular would occasionally post vaguely kinky porn. Now, being so sweet and innocent, I was surprised to see these images appear on my TL. Surprised, but by no means unhappy.
I have mentioned the development of my kinky interests on my other blog, and this was the little push I needed to move in the right direction. I opened a dedicated kinky Twitter account, mostly just as a way of curating these images. But I started following a few more people, started talking to a few more people, and before I knew it I found myself in a new community; a much more welcoming, supportive community. I quickly realised that there was a very real possibility that I could have the things I had been fantasising about all these years. That Twitter, of all places, could make it a reality.
I also soon realised that one of the wonderful kinky accounts I was following was the very same awesome lady who had triggered this first step into a brave new world in the first place. A little over two years ago, some of her tweets first made me aware of a then-unknown Dom . Nine months later, He collared me and now makes me disgustingly happy and so proud to be His submissive. So I have to thank the lovely and beautiful @eos_awoken for the introduction to both the kinky side of Twitter, and to the man who turned out to be the perfect Dom for me (even though she was completely unaware that was what she was doing).
When my Bear and I were initially discussing our thoughts on BDSM, we would occasionally refer to certain people and couples we both followed. Not because we had any desire to emulate any specific relationships, but because Twitter offered such an enormous range of outlooks and attitudes. Some presented glossy, sexed-up versions of their relationships, where she never broke the rules, He never accidentally hit too hard, no-one misunderstood a remark, and nobody ever farted. While others offered insights into the reality of actually living a BDSM relationship. They acknowledged the mistakes they made, and the necessity of communication. The difficulty of family commitments, the perils of jealousy, and the fact that while their BDSM dynamic was an intrinsic part of their relationship, it didn’t define who they were to each other.
I had talked to a few Doms prior to meeting my Bear, but none whose outlook quite matched my own. Those early discussions about the Twitter accounts we both admired and respected were a great demonstration of how similar we were in our attitude, which gave me the confidence to hope we might be as well suited in other ways.
The BDSM Twitter community has been invaluable to me, particularly during that first year. While I am the kind of person who lurks on the periphery of the community, rather than getting stuck into the middle of things, there have been many wonderful people that I have encountered through Twitter. They have guided me through early missteps with arsehole wannabe Doms and bitchy, bratty subs. They have helped me realise what I want, what I don’t want, and what I don’t have to put up with just because I am a sub.
I have gained so much understanding about myself, and about BDSM, and I also understand that I still have so much to learn about both.