I am working harder than at another time in my job at the moment. Yet I can’t talk about what I do as the “man” gets grumpy. My colleagues and I are just about holding some parts of the system together. I only say this as to explain my thought process about where we find ourselves at the moment and where we might find ourselves going forward.
While I am working it’s all guns blazing, with no time to think. All I concentrate on is the task in front of me. I like this as it keeps the demons away. This changes when I finish work and I am sat at the same desk looking at my own pc’s desktop. The world starts to creep in and seems very scary and surreal at the same time.
The scale of the issues we face are hard to comprehend. Seeing the news from other European countries makes we wonder what will happen here. Will it be worse, the same or slightly better? I guess it’s all relative and will come down to how close to the situation as person you come to it. As I said in my audio thing, it’s not me I worry for, it’s those around me.
Yet when I go for my one walk, I am allowed a day. The world around seems claim. Very few cars and people on the street. Just the sounds of birds interspersed with the odd dog bark. You could be forgiven for thinking that everything is ok with the world and there is nothing to worry about! Yet that soon subsides as you turn the corner and see the queues for the supermarket.
What are we to learn from this situation? As cub has already said, we will undoubtedly speed up our plans to live together which, may not be completely possible due to external factors, but certainly more energy will be involved in the process.
Next, I don’t want to miss out on stuff anymore. I already know I am a person who would rather be safe than sorry but, it’s time I pushed myself more with new things. Not to be afraid of failure and use any failure as part of a learning process. Following on from this I want to push forward with the HD audio thing as I find it very cathartic.
I usually have a small idea of what I want to talk about but from that very tiny seed I usually end up somewhere I was not expecting. So, it’s kind of feels like therapy without the pertinent questions and no so much clock watching. I am not sure any one is ready for a 50-minute audio thing but it may happen one day and when it does brace yourself.
As we could be in this situation for a while yet. I guess all I can do it work hard and “play” on my own. Sadly, the only play I do at the moment is video games as I can escape into created world and forget this. I miss cub, I miss being close to her and I miss “our play”. Who knows what will happen next but one thing is for sure, you will have to deal with more HD audio things.