I am not an exhibitionist. If anything, I am an inhibitionist (yes, I know it’s not a word. Should be, though). I get no thrill from the idea of being watched, quite the opposite. It makes me uncomfortable and anxious.
As you know, Bear and I have started to attend kink events in the last six months. We have enjoyed them very much, but we haven’t actually played yet. The event we have gone to has several private rooms to play in, but there is an element of “yeah, but we can do that at home.” We have preferred to spend our time with the lovely people we have met there, as the social interaction is higher on the list of priorities.
The venue also provides several items on BDSM furniture. There is a cross, a chair, spanking benches, that sort of thing.
I am fascinated by these. I have only ever had experience of the standard domestic stuff; beds, sofas, kitchen tables… The achievable positions were limited, and nothing is ever quite the right height, leading to aches and cramp and that thing I get where my knees are spread and my centre of gravity is ever so slightly too low for me to actually move without just giving up and falling off the bed.
But proper furniture, with padding and support and restraint points and all the rest, is something I would love to try. The only drawback is that these are in the public area, and we have both felt a little too self conscious to use them.
The next event we will attend, I will be naked. I was convinced to agree to this by Bear, Molly and wine, but I have committed to it now. I’m looking forward to it, because I know it’s something Bear has wanted to do for a while now. I have written before about how things can quickly become a new normal, and every lady there will be in a similar state of undress. I’m not really concerned about anyone looking at me, because it won’t be remarkable. But, since everyone will have seen everything as soon as I arrive, there seems little point in being shy when it comes to playing. I want to use the equipment, and so it’s my reward for being brave and stripping off. I know Bear is still a bit hesitant, although I don’t really understand why. He is brilliant at what he does, and anyway, nobody else’s opinion matters much. We love what we do.
So while I wouldn’t say I’m excited about playing in public, I am excited about playing with the furniture which happens to be in public. We shall see how it goes….