I am unconvinced by the idea of bucket lists. I understand the reasoning behind them; compiling a list makes us more likely to put in the effort to achieve our goals, rather than just having some vague intentions. But do they really?
With no reason to believe we are running out of time, don’t we all still put things off for another day? Instead of being a list of things to get on with and do before it’s too late, don’t most people treat them as things we intend to get round to?
Equally, where is the fun in completing a checklist? The fun comes from the experiences, the stories around them. The fuck-ups and mistakes and sometimes-stupid decisions that lead us there. Those are the evidence of a life well lived, not ticks next to a list. I could bungee jump tomorrow, but it could be a fraction of the enjoyment or change my life significantly less than the conversation I might have with a stranger the day after. A full life should be unpredictable and spontaneous. The people who restrict themselves to a list are choking all the adventure out of life in the persuit of that very thing. What if you are so focused on crossing one thing off the list, you miss the opportunity for something different? Better? Something you never saw coming?
Can you imagine finishing the list? Thinking “yep, I think I’ve done it all. Nothing else for me here”? Such a list can never be completed. Should never be completed.
Since this is a BDSM blog, I suppose the question is what would be on my kinky bucket list? A fucket list, if you will. It must have gone through my Bear’s mind when he set this prompt. There are a few things that spring to mind right away, like anal sex. We did make a list when we first got together, but that was more of a ‘getting to know you and your kinks’ exercise than a proper bucket list. It was pretty basic, but confirmed we wanted to try the same things. I think we have done everything on that now, except anal.
There are some things that come up regularly when we talk about fantasies, most prominently the idea of a threesome, with Bear domming me and another female sub. We both find the idea incredibly arousing and erotic, but I don’t know if I would want to give it bucket list status. Firstly, it’s dependent on finding the third party, something that is out of our control. We know how rare ladies like that are, never mind finding someone we would be comfortable with. Also, if we do ever meet a person who might be inclined to join us, I think knowing it’s on the bucket list would just take some of the fun out of it, and maybe increase the pressure on one, or both (or all three). I would want the situation to evolve naturally, with the right motivations, and not because someone wants to cross it off their list. Lists aren’t sexy.