Crave is, to me, one of those strange words that quickly loses its meaning and becomes just a noise. Let’s take a look at it…
feel a powerful desire for (something).
synonyms: long for, yearn for, hunger for, thirst for, dream of, want, set one’s heart on, wish for, lust after, covet, desire.
Those are some good synonyms. Strong words that convey a primal urgency, the sense that nothing else will satisfy. There is always something a little bit sordid about craving something. Nobody feels that raw need for something they are supposed to want, for something that is allowed. It’s always reserved for the illicit indulgences and forbidden pleasures, continuing that eternal connection between food and sex.
So, what do I crave? Besides chocolate truffles, I mean.
I crave my Bear. Of course I do, and not just because of the wonderful things we do together. Everything is better with him. He makes me laugh, and makes me think, and keeps me calm when I would panic. When I feel his arms around me after we have been apart, everything else goes quiet and I realise how on edge I have been without him. I love being with him, and get as close as possible, snuggled up next to him. We just spent a weekend together, three whole nights, but I couldn’t kiss him. It was remarkably difficult to be so close to him but have to keep that distance.
I crave the things he says to me when we play. When he tells me what he wants to do to me, the ways he is going to use me. I love it when he asks me who I belong to, and reminds me of my purpose. His voice changes when he is in Dominant mode, even when he’s keeping his voice quiet. There’s something about it that makes it firmer, more insistent. Everything he says in that voice gets me wet.
I crave feeling subby. Following on from the last one, I love that feeling when he tells me he’s going to do whatever he wants to me, because I’m his to play with. It makes me feel little and vulnerable in some ways, because I need him to control me. But at the same time it makes me feel strong and valuable, because I know I can be what he needs. I feel so proud to be his sub, so proud of the pleasure and satisfaction I can bring him. When we can’t play for a while, even if we have spent time together, I miss that feeling so much.
I crave the way he holds me. After our years together he knows what I need when I’m finding it hard to cum. He understands better than I do, that I need him to hold me down, control me. Even with his permission and encouragement, it’s like I need to physically feel his dominance before my mind will let it happen.
And cheese. A lovely sharp cheddar, melted, with some Branston pickle. Mmmm…