I realised the other day that I have never used my safe words. This is not a boast; I have no idea how unusual it might be for couples, and I know it is no mark of achievement for myself. It makes me proud of my Bear though; I see it as evidence of how well he knows me, how well he reads my reactions and never pushes me harder than I can take. We use the traffic light system. Not terribly imaginative, but very clear and easy to remember which is all that matters. I know there are some couples out there who also employ green along with the orange and red, which I understand becomes particularly useful in the scenes involving consensual nonconsent (not something I currently have any experience with). So far, green hasn’t come into play any more than the other colours. Bear knows me well enough not to need it, and I’m usually too caught up in enjoying myself to even think to use it.
As my Bear has mentioned, we are expanding our kinky horizons this year; after attending the BBB afterparty last year, we will be attending a few play events and meeting more of you lovely kinky people in real life. I am keen to make our kink a more involved part of our lives, to take it beyond a bedroom activity and turn into more of a social one. To meet, be inspired by, and learn from other people who share our predilections and attitudes would be a wonderful thing.
One of the things I get most excited about when I think about our future is my Bear and I learning and growing together as Dominant and submissive. How we communicate, compromise and support each other will be instrumental in our development in D/s, as well as in every other aspect of our relationship. While we haven’t discussed specifics, I know we both want to share a home one day. I can’t imagine anything I want more than for us to be able to spend every night together, and live with our various spawn as a family. To wear his Collar always, and continue to explore all the things that give us pleasure in each other. Something I have learned from attending my local munch is there really is no upper age limit for kink. I want us to to be spanking and edging and who knows what else, well into our retirement.
To make this a reality, we have some potentially very sticky conversations ahead of us, but I am confident that the things that make us work so well in D/s will help us navigate through them. It will be a long and arduous journey, but it will be worth it. We’ll have to make it work, because I don’t want a future without him in it.
Thanks to a particularly pervasive ad campaign for a now-defunct phone provider back in the 00s, if you say to me “the future is bright”, you will almost certainly hear me respond with “the future is orange”.
Well, my future is very bright, and very, very green.